Men: Either You are with Us, or You are Against Us

There is no other position.

Bystanding places you firmly within the camp of every man who has abused a woman since humans evolved from apes, and before that.

Bystanding rubber-stamps the continuation of eons of exploitation of one half of the human population by the other half.

Bystanding aligns you with the male power structure that has denied women bodily autonomy and freedom from male violence, thereby depriving them of the full personhood you yourself enjoy.

Bystanding sets an example for your sons…and your daughters.

Bystanding is an exercise in cowardice of colossal magnitude.

Bystanding is hatred for the women who brought you into this world, and the women who will carry on your genetic heritage.

Bystanding is destruction of the most basic building blocks of civilization.

Bystanding is an abdication of your personal debt for living in a free society.

Bystanding is profiteering from a privilege you did not earn and do not deserve.

Bystanding is a betrayal of basic human decency.

Bystanding is lazy, selfish, toxic, ignorant, conniving, and deadly.


Lori Day is an educational psychologist, consultant and parenting coach with Lori Day Consulting in Newburyport, MA. She is the author of Her Next Chapter: How Mother-Daughter Book Clubs Can Help Girls Navigate Malicious Media, Risky Relationships, Girl Gossip, and So Much More. Lori is the Board President of the Jeanne Geiger Crisis Center.

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